The Salt
1:02 pm
Mon December 16, 2013

Sandwich Monday: The Grinch Sandwich

Originally published on Mon December 16, 2013 1:54 pm

Right there at the end of "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch," the narrator sings, "you're a three-decker toadstool and sauerkraut sandwich ... with arsenic sauce." So we made one, to celebrate/ruin the holidays.

Our local Whole Foods was fresh out of arsenic sauce, so we went with the next best thing, Sriracha.

Miles: If this is what the Whos in Whoville forced me to eat, I'd take Christmas away from them, too.

Peter: I feel my heart shrinking two sizes too small.

Mike: The unsettling activity in my stomach is being narrated by Boris Karloff.

Eva: When I was a kid, I always wanted the made-up toys and foods in Dr. Seuss books. Yet another disappointment of adulthood.

Robert: Not too many people know that Sam I Am finally decided to eat green eggs and ham when he found out this was his other choice.

Ian: The star on my belly marks where it hurts.

Miles: I assume all that hopping on Pop was to resuscitate him after he ate this sandwich.

Miles: We should've left the arsenic sauce on — at least that way, I wouldn't have to deal with this aftertaste.

Peter: The Grinch — he himself! — admitted his terrible mood came from a poor diet.

Robert: Little-known piece of movie trivia: This was the blue-plate special at the Potterville Diner during the dystopian section of It's a Wonderful Life.

Eva: I would never wish this sandwich on anybody, except maybe Jim Carrey from the Grinch remake.

Peter: True: The Grinch song was sung by the great Thurl Ravenscroft, who also voiced Tony The Tiger. I imagine him shouting, "They're ... GRRRRRROSS!"

Ian: I'm starting to think the Grinch is maybe just the Grimace after a couple of decades of bad choices.

[The verdict: just terrible. Made up entirely of ingredients that are wonderful when paired with other things, this is a sandwich that nonetheless has the power to ruin Christmas.]

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